Do you believe?

You know when you are listening or reading a chunk of scripture and one verse just pops out at you, and you hear a still small voice in you heart telling you that this is the verse for you today.  Well, this was one of those verses.

The morning, before I was to take THE MOST IMPORTANT test of my life, I was listening to a daily Bible App  on my phone.  Jesus was about to heal a blind man and He asks him a simple question.  "Do you believe I am able to do this?"  I had studied my butt off for the past three months for 5-6 hours a day, but yet I still didn't feel confidant.  I also knew that, in myself, I could not do this.  I was scared to death of failure!  I could pray and plead as much as I wanted, but that didn't seem to mute the lies that the enemy was spewing my way.

Lord, I believe, but help my unbelief!!

So I decided to do a word study.  What does the word "believe" mean? 

The word believe comes from the Greek word πιστεύω  (pisteuō).  It means:

1) to think to be true, to be persuaded of, to credit, place confidence in

      a) of the thing believed

           1) to credit, have confidence

      b) in a moral or religious reference

          1) used in the NT of the conviction and trust to which a man is impelled by a certain inner and higher prerogative and law of soul

          2) to trust in Jesus or God as able to aid either in obtaining or in doing something: saving faith

          3) mere acknowledgment of some fact or event: intellectual faith

2) to entrust a thing to one, i.e. his fidelity

      a) to be intrusted with a thing

The root word of pisteuō is  πίστις (pistis), which means:

1) conviction of the truth of anything, belief; in the NT of a conviction or belief respecting man's relationship to God and divine things, generally with the included idea of trust and holy fervor born of faith and joined with it 

     a) relating to God 

          1) the conviction that God exists and is the creator and ruler of all things, the provider and bestower of eternal salvation through Christ

      b) relating to Christ

          1) a strong and welcome conviction or belief that Jesus is the Messiah, through whom we obtain eternal salvation in the kingdom of God

      c) the religious beliefs of Christians

      d) belief with the predominate idea of trust (or confidence) whether in God or in Christ, springing from faith in the same

2) fidelity, faithfulness

      a) the character of one who can be relied on

But it doesn't end there!  The root word of pistis is πείθω (peithō) which means:

1) persuade

      a) to persuade, i.e. to induce one by words to believe

      b) to make friends of, to win one's favor, gain one's good will, or to seek to win one, strive to please one

      c) to tranquillize

      d) to persuade unto i.e. move or induce one to persuasion to do something

2) be persuaded

      a) to be persuaded, to suffer one's self to be persuaded; to be induced to believe: to have faith: in a thing

          1) to believe

          2) to be persuaded of a thing concerning a person

      b) to listen to, obey, yield to, comply with

3) to trust, have confidence, be confident

Now that I have exhausted the word, lets look at the tense to fully grasp the meaning.  In this text the the word believe is in Present (tense) Active (voice) Imperative (mood).  In other words, it's a progressive (or 'Continuous'), performing or producing, command.  Jesus is commanding us to be in a state of continuous believing!  It's not something that happens overnight.  It's a continual state of believing.

Woah!  That just blows my mind!

It brings a picture to my mind of when I was little and, holding my daddy's hand, I knew that he would never let any harm come to me.  I wasn't worried about where or what to do next because he would lead me.  And so too, my God will take me by the hand and lead me.  I need only believe that He is who He says He is.  I only need to let go and Let God.

Our walk with Jesus is a day by day, continual adventure.  Sometimes is a moment by moment, even second by second adventure.  But it's an adventure nonetheless.  Being a Christian doesn't mean that life is easy, not by a long shot, but be can live our lives believing that we are safe in His arms no matter where life takes us.

Matthew 9:28  And when He had come into the house, the blind men came to Him. And Jesus said to them, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" They said to Him, "Yes, Lord."

All resources came from the Blue Letter Bible 

Continued...

So Septenber 26th of 2011 I became a Loma Linda Alum!  What was I going to do with my life now that it wasn't consumed with school?  Study for Boards!!  This was THE most stressful, aggravating and confusing process in my life.  In the world of Physical Therapy there are two separate entities that work together. The Physical Therapy Board of California and The Federation of State Board of Physical Therapy. I had to send in an application to the PTBC (Physical Therapy Board of California), but I paid for my exam through the FSBPT (Federation of State Board of Physical Therapy).  The PTBC is the one who would give me my License applicant status.  It's kind of like a temporary license.  I could work as a PTA, but could not work autonomous.  But who was going to hire me as a PTALA (Physical Therapist Assistant License Applicant).

So during the last week at my last affiliation at Menifee Hospital, I applied for an Aide position at Rancho Physical Therapy.  All that was available was a position for a Floater Aide.  What that meant was that I would go from office to office filling in for people that were sick or requested days off.  The hours ranged from 10-20 hours a week, depending on what was available.  I traveled as far south as Fallbrook to as far North as Riverside.  It was an interesting job.  Now I had two jobs on top of studying for boards.  At this time I had sent in all the necessary paperwork and had been issues my PTALA status, I was just waiting for the PTBC and the FSBPT to talk to each other to allow me to st for my boards.

I was checking the website EVERY SINGLE DAY!!  Finally, on December 31, 2011 I was finally approved to take the test.  The following week I called to schedule my tests.  I also had to take a California Rules and Regulations test for the state of California.  Every state has their own rules and regulation s stating what PTA can and cannot do.  Pretty lame.  I think they should all agree to be the same.  But what do I know?  I scheduled to take my boards on January 28th and my law exam on Feb 10th.  I had been studying since late September, 5-6 hours a day up until  the day of the test.  The boards cost a pretty penny and I was gunna pass it the first time!!

The Monday before the test I was working at a Rancho clinic in Murrieta.  I was talking with one of the PTA's there and she mentioned to  me that I should look into the travel company's.  What's that? I asked.  Google it. She said.  So I went home and did just that.  What it is, is that you sign up with a company and they send you all over the state to work in various clinics.  Kind of like a traveling Nurse.  They will supply you with an apartment if you don't already have housing where they send you.  Now, I don't remember if I contacted this company, or if they contacted me.  I had put a resume on Career Builders, so it could have been one or the other.  It really doesn't matter.

Test day came.  I had never been so nervous in my entire life.  I had everyone and their mother praying for me.  The Thursday before I had my Pastor's wife, along with other ladies in the church, lay hands on me and pray for God's grace.  Prayer helped, but I still was riddled with anxiety.  I knew that after that day my life would change forever, no matter the outcome.  It took me 5 hours to take the test.  As I left, a feeling of defeat just fell over me.  I felt like such a failure.  I didn't feel like I did my best.  I cried all the way home.  I was mentally preparing myself of having to take the test again.  When I got home, all I wanted to do is sleep.  When I woke up two hours later, I was reminded of the scripture that says he makes us lie down in green pastures.  I was so emotionally drained, but God made me lie down and He comforted me in my time of need.  That night I went out to eat with a dear friend and drowned my sorrows in Chinese food.

The next morning I had to work early at Starbucks so I got up at 6am to check the website.  I PASSED!!!  I was on cloud nine!!  I couldn't stop praising Jesus for everything.  I knew that it was only Him that could do this.

I took my law exam on the 10th of February and passed that too.  It was a piece of cake compare to my 5 hour long marathon.  The rest is history...

So to give you a little taste of how quick God works, I'm going to give you dates here. January 18th is when I was referred to a travel company by the PTA at Rancho.  The 20th is when I got in contact with then through email.  The  23rd is when I began talking with the travel company on the phone.  The 28th I took my boards test.  The 29th at 6:00am I found out I passed!  Woot!  Woot!  The 30th I was offered a job with this company, Staff Rehab, of which I gladly accepted. I was told of a job up in Yuba City which was an hour north of Sacramento.  I had never heard of it before.  The job was in the Rehab department of a skilled Nursing Facility.  It's a place that people go that are too healthy for the hospital but not healthy enough to go home.  So, on Friday February 2nd I had a phone interview with the Director of Rehab up in Yuba City.  By Wednesday I got a cell telling me that I got the job...and they wanted me to start on the 20th!!  That left me with 9 days to quit my two jobs, pack, say goodbye to my friends and family, and drive up to Yuba City to start work as a PTA on the 20th!!  Whew!  In less then a month. my life did a 180!

Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him [be] glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

Chapter One

So mid February of 2010, my mother and I moved into a little apartment around the corner fro Redlands University.  It was a small, inexpensive two bedroom apartment less then ten miles from Loma Linda U.   I wasn't accepted to school yet, but I was excited to be there.  I started the Physics class at RCC (Riverside Community College). I was actually enjoying physics.  Who would have though I would enjoy physics.  I was commuting from Redlands to Moreno Valley twice a week for the next three months, but it was worth it.  I passed the class with a B, which kept my science GPA where it needed to be.

One day in March, as I was driving to the store with my mom, my phone rang.  In case you were wondering, no I wasn't driving.  It was the secretary to the Director of the PTA program at LLU (Loma Linda University). She wanted to know if I would come in for an interview.  I was so thrilled that she called me!!  We set up a time to go in later that week.

I don't even remember what I talked about in the interview.  All I know is that I was super nervous the ENTIRE time.  One question I was asked was what  my plan B was if I didn't get into the program?  I said that I didn't have a plan B.  God doesn't have a plan B with me, so why should I have a plan B with Him?  If I didn't get in, it just wasn't what He had planned for me, and that was ok.

In April I gt the long awaited letter from LLU.  I was accepted...BUT...I was placed on the waiting list.  This was so not what I wanted to hear!!  But I would just keep doing what I was doing and know that God was in control. 

A week and half later I got a call from the school again.  I was moved off the waiting list to the permanent list  in the program.  WHAT!!  I was starting in less then two weeks.  WHAT THE WHAT!!  When God moves, He moves fast!!!

Words cannot explain the joy I had.  I was going to Lome Linda University!!!!  Later I found out that only 10% of applicants actually get into the program.  The financial part kind of just fell into place.  I filled out the FASFA and applied for some grants and scholarships.  So far the first couple of quarters were taken care of.  I was starting early June of 2010.

That first quarter was extremely difficult.  Actually, they were all very hard, but nothing compares to the first quarter.  That summer I took 5 or six classes ( really don't remember).  Tow classes really stick out though.  Gross Anatomy was IN-TENSE!!!  Not only was there stress in it being a short nine week class, but Anatomy was gateway class.  Which meant that if you didn't pass you were kicked out of the program.  Gross Anatomy is not like your average anatomy that you take in school.  This was GROSS ANATOMY.  I had to learn every bone, every muscle, every ligament, and every nerve.  Not just every bone, but every fossa, fissure, and notch.  Not only every muscle, but every origin, innervation, action.  OMG!!  I can't go on, I would take up an entire blog on what we did in Anatomy class.  In then end, passed!!  That's all that mattered.

The other class I remember from summer quarter is Personal and Professional Ethics. The class was amazing.  I think I enjoyed is so much because it was about morality.  And the fact that it was a Christian institution, morality was something that I grew up with.   Also, it was a great break from Anatomy.  it was a breath of fresh air.  To be with like minded people and being able to speak truth without the worry of "offending" anyone.  The teacher was quite awesome too.  Throughout my time at LLU, she became a great mentor of mine.  I could pop into her office and just talk about life, struggles, and sometimes school.  God defiantly put her in my life to help my sanity while I was there. I think that is one thing I miss the most about LLU. I haven't spoken to her in awhile.  I miss her.

The next few quarters went fast.  While I was in the, they moved like molasses, but looking back it was too fast.  At the beginning of my third or fourth quarter, I really don't remember, I did a six week affiliation at an busy Out Patient clinic in Murrieta.  I absolutely loved it!!  My CI (clinical Instructor) was amazing!  She taught me so much.  More then I think she realizes.  I did an in-service on Scoliosis, which was pretty interesting because I hadn't taken a class on the neck or spine yet.  I was so totally nervous the whole time, but they said I did a good job.

The following June I walked with the PTA class of 2011.  I didn't technically graduate until September, after I finished all my affiliations (clinicals/internships).  I spent six weeks at an Out Patient clinic in Menifee, horrible experience, and six weeks In Patient clinic at a hospital in Menifee, loved it.  My last day was September 26th, 2011; my graduation date.  One of the best day ever!!

But God wasn't done with me yet!!

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.

God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called...

After I graduated, I wasn't sure what I was going to do or where I was going to go.  I thought I might volunteer at the Bible College and go back to doing what I did before.  I was a preschool teacher in Palm Springs, so how hard would it be to find a job out in Murrieta.  So I put together a resume and went job hunting.  The first place I went to was a preschool down the street and got interviewed on the spot.  It went well and it looked like a great place to work.  They told me that they would call me in a few days if they wanted to give me a second interview.  That day when I went back to campus I stopped into the coffee shop there on campus.  As it turned out, they were looking for someone to hire and I got offered a full time job.  Not only would this be a paying job (most of the jobs at the Bible College are volunteer only) but I would be able to have housing on campus.  I was facing a dilemma.  So after much prayer, I decided to take the job at the Conference Center working at the Overflowing Cup coffee shop.

I was there at the OC (Overflowing Cup) for about 3 years.  During that time, a lot of great things happened.  My job was to assign students to work in the coffee shop and work it around their school schedule.  It was a stressful job, but I really like it because I was daily surrounded by my Christan family.  During this time I became  personal trainer and and started a little side business.  I din;t make much, butI enjoyed helping people be the best they could be.

In the of 2008, February to be exact, the dreaded budget cuts came my way.  I was like I got hit in the gut!  My whole life was going to change.  Not being full time meant that I was going to loose my medical benefits.  That was something that I really needed.  So I went down to part time and set off to look for a second job.  That weekend I went to Starbucks to inquire about a position.  I got an interview and a job offer on the spot!  They following week I started as a Barista at Starbucks in Murrieta.  Juggling two jobs was difficult and what was more difficult was getting up for a 4am shift!

It was around this time that I began to think about where my life was going.  I mean, I didn't want to make a career out of Starbucks.  Who does that?  Well, someone might, but I knew that it wasn't for me.  So I really only planned to be at Starbucks for about a year tops.  As I was thinking and praying about it I knew that I enjoyed helping others and I was also fascinated by the human body.  How it works and how we are all so amazingly designed.

Around August of that year I was sitting around one day and the word "Physical Therapy"  popped into my head.  I don't recall what cause me to think about it, but it just stuck.  So I googled it and found a couple of schools that offered the program.  To become a Physical Therapist required about 4+ years of schooling, on top of prerequisites. Now, I'm not of the old, but I'm not young either.  I was looking at the job description of a PT (Physical Therapist) and found out that there were also PTA's (Physical Therapist Assistants) that work along side them.  There were two schools nearby that offered a PTA program.  One was a Mesa Commnity College in San Diego, and the other was at Loma Linda University in Loma Linda.  As I sat and thought about the schools, even before I looked at the tuition I thought, "If I was in an interview and I was up against someone for the same position, who would they pick?  Someone who graduated from a a Community College, or someone who graduated from a Medical University?  I chose Loma Linda University.  So I looked into their PTA program and into their prerequisites.  It looked like I really only needed a few extra courses to fulfill what they required.  So I signed up to take Anatomy 101 and  Human Development Psychology in January of 2009.

In December in 2008, more budget cuts came my way and I lost my job at the Conference Center.  Now what was I going to do??  I could stay living on the campus if I volunteer at the coffee shop 20 hours a week, but I had just signed up to go back to school.  How was I going to work at Starbucks, volunteer 20 hours at the coffee shop AND go to school.  I didn't see a way that was possible.  So I prayed about it and on January 1st 2009, I left the Bible College after 5 wonderful years and moved in with a friend.

The entire year of 2009 was a horrible year that stretched me more then I thought I could handle.  I started school in January, got some financial aide, but come April I couldn't afford living with my friend anymore.  So I looked on Craigslist for a room to rent (don't do this by the way) and moved out.  I lived in a room off the garage in someone's house in Menifee for the next couple of months while I was going to school and by God's grace I was able to pass all my classes.  Signed up for summer school, I took College Algebra (don't take a math class over the summer) and just kept on struggling.  I was in a bad place then. As I look back, the only word that I can use to describe it would be a spiritual desert.  I had felt forsaken, even though deep down I knew that God would never leave me nor forsake me.  But the Enemy loves to prowl on the vulnerable.

In September of that year I moved in with a very dear friend of mine who was also one of my roommates in Bible College.  I had three last classes to take, Anatomy 102 , English 101 and Physics.  Anatomy and English were great, especially since my English class was a hybrid class and the majority of it was online.  I just had to go to actual class once a week.  But then there was Physics!  Oh I hated that class with a deep passion.  Why did I have to take Physics?  I did not see the point AT ALL.  And the teacher....you needed a background in Physics just to understand the man!!  But I was bound and determined to pass that class.  I was starting Loma Linda the following June. (Keep in mind that I had not even sent in my application yet, but that story will be coming up next.)  I did everything I could think of to make that class make sense.  I was on my knee daily, Googled  everything about everything that had to do with Physics, I even bout "Physics for Dummies."  Nothing helped, because in the end I got an F...AN EFF!!    That's like saying I didn't put forth any effort at all.  Oh way I mad!!  What was I going to do???  This totally threw a wrench in my plans.  But this would not deter me.

That same month Loma Linda was hosing an open house.  One of the reasons I had not applied yet was because the application fee was $60 that I did not have.  If you had gone to the open house, the application fee would be waived.  So I went.  I received lots of information about the program and was getting really excited.  As soon as I got home, I filled out the application online and sent it in.  I did not hear a word regarding the application till mid May.

Time was coming down to the wire.  I searched high and low for any school that offered a Physics class.  I stumbled upon Riverside Community College that had offered the exact class I needed, but it went from February of 2010 to late May. During this time I had been in constant contact with the director of the program at Loma Linda and she told me that I should be fine as long as I kept them informed of my progress.   During this time, even though I had not even applied to the school as of yet, I knew in my heart of hearts that I was going to that school.  So I took the money that I had gotten from my tax return and moved myself and my mother up to Redlands.

But the story doesn't end here..stay tuned!

Isaiah 55:8-9 "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.  For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

In the beginning...

I have been told by a couple different people, that I need to write down all the things that God has done for me, so that I can look back on God's faithfulness.  So I decided to start this blog to tell the stories.

To start this story off right, I have to start with way back before I started Bible College in 2003.  Back then I was working at a preschool in Palm Springs about to graduate from College with my 1st (of three) Associate degrees.  I technically didn't really graduate, but that's another story for another time.  A couple of months prior to my graduation I had gone to a women's retreat at the Bible College which also shares its campus with  the conference center.   Don't ask me what that weekend's theme was, because I really don't remember.  What I do remember is this, the Lord spoke to me heart and told me that I was going to go to that college.  I kind of laughed because I didn't believe it was possible.  But I downloaded an application anyway.  I filled out the application and wrote the essay and then put it in a drawer, forgetting it for about a year. Fast forward a year later...

So this preschool that I was working at...It was ending another year and they just told me that they weren't able to renew their lease on the building and they were going to be closing for good at the end of the year.  I was a little bummed out and during lunch one day I was talking with the director and she was asking me about what I might do after the school closed.  I had nonchalantly mentioned that I kinda wanted to go to Bible College and the only thing I needed to do was send in the application with a photo and the application fee.  She said, "Well, what are you waiting for? Do it!"  What was I waiting for?  So I got everything together and sent off the application in faith knowing that God was going to provide the tuition if He wanted me to go.

During the next couple months I just prayed about it...and prayed..and prayed!  I had got accepted, but didn't have any money whatsoever to go.  But I had faith that God would get me there.  So I packed up my things preparing to go.  Up to the day of move in I didn't have any money and I didn't know how I was going to get the money.  But God did!  And that He did.  The day came that I was going to pack up my car and leave.  I called the school that morning to inquire about my financial situation and God had answered my prayers!

THE WHOLE SEMESTER WAS PAID FOR!!

To this day I don't know who did it, and you know what?  I really don't want to.  Because God did it.  Glory be to God and God alone!!  

The next two years went kind of like that.  The ups and down of not knowing where the money would come from...and every time God came through.  Now, He didn't always just miraculously shower money from heaven, which I'm sure He could.  We serve a God with unlimited resources!!  He provided work of all kinds to earn the money that I needed or He put it on the hearts of my brothers and sisters in Christ to bless me. 

And so, in may of 2006, I graduated with an Associates in Theology from Calvary Chapel Bible College.  What will I do with that, you might ask?  Who knows, but God has a purpose and He will fulfill that which He has begun in me!

Stay tuned for part II

Philippians 1:6  For I am confidant of this, He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ!